How Leaders Can Better Respond to Reporters Questions of Doubts and Criticism

Louise Carnachan, organizational development consultant and leadership coach

 

Skillful stress management at work sounds a lot easier than it is in practice and one story in the news last week showed how high expectations on leaders can lead to white-hot anger, strong impulses, poor self control and bad behavior.

University of Memphis head men’s basketball coach Penny Hardaway, a legend as a player in the city from his high school and college days, wasn’t having any of it, as the saying goes, when a reporter questioned yet another loss by his very talented yet inexperienced and at times, dysfunctional team.

“Stop asking me stupid f***ing questions about if I feel like I can do something," he blurted towards a reporter doing their job, before resorting to arrogance, "If I had my roster like they did (the other college team), then I feel like I can do whatever I want to do.”

Hardaway wasn’t done yet airing out the reporter or the assembled media.

“Y'all write all these bullsh*t articles about me, and all I do is work,” he said, again using profanity followed by propping himself up.

Clearly, Hardaway has had his fill of criticism and doubts about his leadership when he has a group of young men who are a mix of inexperience and older players who are reportedly territorial about playing time with the more heralded younger players.

“From what’s given of the scenario, it appears a question or series of questions prompted a defensive — ‘all I do is work’— and angry — profanity and blaming — response when the negative consequences could be significant to the leader and the (employer),” says Louise Carnachan, an organizational development consultant and leadership coach and also author of the upcoming book ((June, 2022 release) “Work Jerks: How to Cope with Difficult Bosses and Colleagues.”

“What we don’t know is if this is a habitual reaction or a one-off. If it’s habitual, this is someone who should not be the front-facing media representative without a lot of coaching and practice. Even if it’s a one-off,” she says, “it’s the golden moment for stress management coaching.”

She explains the biological reasons for her assertion, followed by what can work better in challenging communication situations.

“The response indicates that the executive function of the brain that controls judgment was short-circuited in favor of the amygdala where emotion lives. A profanity-laden reaction to the media is never justified. Strong language in response to a question that has been repeatedly asked or is biased toward a conclusion may be deserved, but it can be handled in many other ways other than lashing out. Options include ending the interview or noting the repetitive nature of the questions and a return to the facts.”

It’s rare that criticism doesn’t hurt a leader. Leaders are human like anyone else. When that person feels they are doing their best work, regardless of results, and that many variables — some outside their control — are preventing expected and desired outcomes, that creates stress and anger shouldn’t be a surprise. Thus when doubts, questioning and criticism comes, it can be extremely hurtful and difficult to handle. Yet that there are ways to regain emotional balance.

“The first step is to recognize when you’re vulnerable to being hijacked by your emotional responses and what those responses are,” Carnachan says. “I ask clients to take themselves back to a difficult situation and recall when they first noticed fear, anger, or defensiveness and how it manifested. Typically, people report a physical sensation like ears getting hot, hands clenched, stomach turning or feeling like they’re floating out of their body. Some people have a voice that tells them they’re in danger. Once you know what your cues are, you have a chance to intervene.”

Focusing on the body first can prove helpful, she says.

“The very best and easiest intervention is consciously take a few deep breaths. That alone will help quell the flow of adrenalin so you have a chance of getting back into your rational brain,” Carnachan says.

From there, with reasoning again available, the next step is visualizing a future situation and possibly role playing it.

“Depending on the person and the situations in which these reactions occur, we create a go-to strategy. This could be saying, ‘I want to think about this for a moment before I answer,’ or suggesting a break, leaving the situation, or using calming self-talk,” she says. “It takes practice for any strategy to become reliable and we don’t always get it right as we’re learning, or even after we’re seasoned.”

What is critical in situations like this, Carnachan says, is at least one assertive leader or colleague, to civilly communicate what’s transpiring.

“It is particularly problematic when leaders go off on emotional tirades but unless someone is willing to say, ‘The emperor has no clothes,’ and risk additional wrath or firing, these leaders tend to continue behaving in abusive ways. A tantrum is the most obviously egregious, but repeated negative comments about staff members within their hearing is also demoralizing. People will work a lot harder for people who give them respect.”

A leader who gives into anger often doesn’t believe they would benefit working with a professional to learn healthier ways to communicate what they are feeling, instead of revealing how pained their ego is, through aggression.

“Lashing out to the media is probably not the only situation in which this occurs,” Carnachan says. “A known ‘hot-head’ is someone who needs assistance. Some people are perfectly reasonable most of the time, but certain situations will set them off.”

Interesting, not all leaders are low in self-awareness when they resort to such unprofessional and destructive communication.

“Usually, the person knows there’s a problem and doesn’t feel good about their behavior, whether they admit it or not,” Carnachan says, “but they may not seek assistance on their own unless it’s pointed out by others, like the boss, or the stakes are high and they could be fired, or they’ve had negative consequences that burned them, like a media story that portrays them as unreliable and unbalanced.” 

 
Michael Toebe

Founder, writer, editor and publisher

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