Learning to See Ourselves as Leaders Now and Recognize it as Our Identity

Book: Step Up: How to Live with Courage and Become an Everyday Leader
Author: Ash Beckham

Ash Beckham rose to popularity with her viral Tedx Talk Coming Out of Your Closet (recommended) and has written Step Up: How to Live with Courage and Become an Everyday Leader.

She challenges people to embrace a different version of leadership in order to create more inclusive environments at workplaces, schools, places of worship, communities, and homes; in other words, having important, valuable conversations for meaningful personal development.

While she is known as inclusion activist, she communicates she is, like all of us, much more, which she discusses in this conversation below.

Beckham’s message and communication skills, including humor, have made her an in-demand speaker, including events at Microsoft, Lockheed Martin, Bank of America, and the keynote for the first LGBTQ Conference at Harvard University.

What was the seed of inspiration for this book and the tipping point to commit to the sustained, hard work of writing it?

Before writing the book, I was lucky enough to be speaking in front of a lot of amazing people — university students, entry-level employees, middle managers and C-suite executives — about leadership. In every group more often than not, people would tell me when they became a leader they would implement the strategies I discussed.

When they had a certain degree or a certain title or a specific number of direct reports or managed a budget of a certain amount, they would step up. These were all people I saw as leaders, their peers saw them as leaders, but they did not see themselves as leaders. And I knew that was what needed to change.

The world didn't need another book on how to manage your employees.

I needed to write a book that allowed people to see themselves as leaders from exactly where they were in that moment. I wanted to give them the tools to constantly improve their leadership style and make it a part of their identity.

Leadership is not something we turn off when we clock out or close our laptop at the end of the day. We bring it into our homes, our families and our communities.

I tried to write a book that empowered the 9-year old benchwarmer on the soccer team and the Fortune 100 executive to lead from precisely where they were with intention and integrity and with a constant willingness to learn and grow.

What do you most hope readers will receive reading the book?

I hope they see that there is an opportunity to practice leadership in everyday interactions. Leadership does not just happen in big moments. Certainly, the practice of leadership does not happen then.

The practice happens when we consciously decide how we want to show up at the grocery store or when someone messes up our order at a restaurant or when we are in traffic. The only way we become more comfortable as a leader is by practicing being uncomfortable. By trying and failing and trying again when the stakes are low and we can hone our proficiency.

I see the 8 pillars as tools. The mindful leader knows which tools are most useful in which situation. They say when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. I want people to see the nuance in every situation.

You may need courage and responsibility when talking to your boss while you may want humility and empathy when having a hard conversation with your child. The appropriate tool choice and the proper application make all the difference not only in the outcome but in how you develop as a leader.

I love that you wanted to address empathy, responsibility and humility. Why does there seem to be, at least at first glance, a dearth of it and is there hope that we can as individuals and a collective improve upon it in society?

People may perceive the lack of these traits in leaders because they are weaknesses. I believe they are lacking in our world because they are hard.

Why is it more difficult to practice empathy than courage? First of all, empathy requires courage. It requires vulnerability and a willingness to understand someone else's human experience. You can have courage without empathy because courage is just about you. But you cannot have empathy without courage.

I do believe we can return to reliance on these values. We start small. In our homes, on our teams, in our communities. We model, prioritize, measure and reward these traits. This is not a top-down movement. This is a grassroots changing of cultures where these values become the standard in so many small pockets, that the scales tip to making these characteristics the norm rather than the exception.

From your viewpoint, what might end up being some of the most valuable, interesting and maybe surprising takeaways readers could take from reading your work?

Hopefully how multi-dimensional we all are and that your expertise in leadership comes precisely from that complexity.

Most people that read the book know me as an inclusion advocate. But they may not know me as a mom or an entrepreneur or the multitude of other hats that I wear. What makes us great leaders is a willingness to see every interaction as an opportunity to practice being the person we strive to be.

Many stories in the book are just simple day-to-day events but when we can see those occasions as opportunities to grow, we begin to see leadership as a mindset — and not just a skillset.

Ash Beckham on Instagram (recommended)

Thank you to Shannon Leigh (Turbeville) Keenan at Triple 7 Public Relations, LLC for proposing and arranging this interview and conversation.