Apology, Forgiveness and Restoration is a Tricky Thing

Pete Rose recently wrote a letter to apology and ask forgiveness. He wants something too.

Long-retired star baseball player Pete Rose is now 81 years old. He was disgraced long ago for egregious, unprofessional behavior. He recently wrote a letter to apologize, seek forgiveness and make a “big ask” for his benefit.

How should this apology and request, which became public, be considered and will it be successful?

Forgiveness and restoration of privilege is a complex emotional and behavioral process. There is no absolute outcome. A lot goes into it.

Rose stopped playing at the end of the 1986 season with a record, that still stands today, of 4,256 hits and 3,562 games played. Of course, achievement-wise, he’s a Hall of Fame-level player.

He’s just not been inducted.

But there’s a good reason for that — he violated well-known and clear rules and it ended up costly him dearly for decades, three of them.

On August 23, 1989, as punishment for betting on baseball — strictly forbidden by Major League Baseball — Rose, then the Cincinnati Reds manager (a team he once starred for), accepted a settlement that banned him from the game for his unethical actions, meaning, among other things, there would be no Hall of Fame consideration, announcement, induction, opportunity to address the world and bask in the celebration of him.

None of the benefits, tangible and intangible, would be his either.

After years of denial, Rose decided to come clean when he wrote and published his book, “My Prison Without Bars,” where he admitted he did place bets, on the team he managed, the Reds.

He rationalized the decision and behavior saying he bet on his team to win and thus was not interfering with the integrity of the game and acting in a way that would negatively affect the outcome.

Rose just wrote a letter addressed to Rob Manfred, the current commissioner of MLB, where he apologized and expressed remorse, asking for forgiveness and to be considered for induction into the Hall of Fame.

Forgiveness and restoration of acceptance and privileges is a complex cognitive and behavior puzzle.

Today, Communication Intelligence examines it with Angie Corbo, Ph.D., the Chair of Communication Studies at Widener University in Chester, Pa., and Joe Karasin, Chief Marketing Officer at CircleIt, a communication service.

Perception when it comes to apology is a powerful determinant of how well the expression of regret and remorse are received. Rose has an aim with his letter and it likely has more to do with getting something than giving people at MLB what he feels they demand.

Angie Corbo, Ph.D., the Chair of Communication Studies at Widener University

“Athletes, celebrities, politicians, and brand representatives will appeal to the public during a crisis through the use of social media,” Corbo says. “The messaging goal is to acknowledge wrongdoing, take responsibility, show remorse and to create a corrective action.”

The public becoming aware of an apology can, at times, prove helpful, to that end.

“The public determines if the content and tone of the message adequately atones for the situation,” Corbo asserts. “This synergy may impact the decisionmakers as they are considering appeals for forgiveness and eligibility reconsideration.”

Karasin admits Rose’s approach towards responsibility years ago fell short of the mark yet he sees something different this time around.

“Pete Rose, in the past, has come across to the baseball higher-ups as insincere and opportunistic when attempting to mend fences. I believe the way he closed the letter by asking for forgiveness came across as incredibly sincere,” he says.

Karasin adds that a perception about Rose’s intent might not be accurate.

“I don't think his desire for a HOF induction and his sincere regret have to be mutually exclusive.”

Forgiveness is complicated, especially in the public eye, contends Corbo. As she examined the letter’s contents, she noticed the positives and also points out that how people view the effort is up to feelings.

“Rose has acknowledged his failings, apologized for his actions, asked for forgiveness, and begged for mercy. In many cases, this would be enough for the public to move on and accept that people make mistakes. Sincere regret, deep remorse, and personal responsibility are key elements to influencing the public in times of wrongdoing,” she says.

However, there is a vital reality to remember, she adds.

“Evaluating remorse, however, is subjective and conditional.”

Judging Rose’s sincerity is a difficult task. and how people view apologies is affected by different variables.

“Only Pete Rose knows if his regret is greater, or less, than his desire to be inducted into the Hall of Fame,” Corbo says, adding illumination about what usually determines how we judge. “Our lived experiences and values will influence how we respond to controversial issues.”

Joe Karasin, Chief Marketing Officer at CircleIt

The letter did get Karasin’s attention, for its highlights and low point.

“I think it was impressively humble, especially for a professional athlete. Pete pulls at the heartstrings, and it comes across as a flawed man attempting to make right,” he says.

“I do see his mention of his status as ‘The Hit King’ in the final paragraph as a bit arrogant. While true, it isn't important to his apology to remind everyone of what they already know about his accomplishments. His legacy speaks for itself.”

Rose’s history is complex. In addition to his breaking the sport’s rules with betting on games, there are rumors that circulate once in a while — about which Rose has responded argumentatively and dismissively — about sexual relations with minors.

While that hasn’t been any part of his ban from baseball, it is part of the Rose narrative for some critics. Rose wants to be honored, wants another moment in the sun and adulation for what he accomplished. There is a lot standing in the way.

The apology, about baseball at least, he may feel, is the vehicle to those objectives. Whether his apology is a moonshot and fruitless endeavor or significantly helpful remains to be seen.

“Those who see Rose’s athletic accomplishments will argue that he has served his time, demonstrated appropriate remorse, and deserves to be inducted into the Hall of Fame,” Corbo says. “We have a long list of athletes who have redeemed themselves and have had a second chance. Others who view Rose’s tarnished reputation as his defining characteristic will see his apology as self-serving and insincere.

“Pete Rose’s actions made baseball vulnerable and broke the trust with fans at a time when there were fewer controversies surrounding professional athletes. This magnified his actions, public memory, and judgment.”

Karasin is optimistic that Rose putting his feelings out there in the form of a letter of confession and contrition could move the needle, eventually.

“I believe it should be helpful to achieving his desired goal. I believe it has been some time since he has made any outreach in this regard, and his emotional appeal is something that any true baseball fan would find compelling,” he says.

As for the other scurrilous gossip circulating, he has a reply.

“Rumors should have no play in the matter. Of course his gambling behavior is inexcusable from MLB's perspective, but I also think that anyone that has dealt with an addict, gambling or otherwise, would understand some of the behaviors and also know that he is being sincere.”

There is something else in play, Corbo says, to give deeper thought to and engage in further debate and examination.

“It is healthy to listen to apologies with demonstrated remorse; it is imperative that the decisionmakers evaluate their organizational values when reevaluating Pete Rose’s request,” she says.

“Does his breach in ethics warrant a lifetime ban? Would a reversal in the decision provide a positive message of forgiveness or a negative message of celebrity privilege? How will the decision shape the public’s perception of upholding a standard of ethical behaviors?”

To this point, Commissioner Manfred is firm in saying that he doesn’t plan reinstatement.

“I believe that when you bet on baseball from Major League Baseball’s perspective, you belong on the permanently ineligible list,” Manfred said, via The Athletic’s Evan Drellich.

However, he does make a point to mention possible wiggle room for Rose’s biggest aspiration.

“When I dealt with the issue the last time he applied for reinstatement, I made clear that I didn’t think the function of that baseball list was the same as the eligibility criteria for the Hall of Fame. That remains my position.”

Rose’s punishment of no reward for his accomplished career is likely to be a life sentence, apology and remorse or not.