CEO Addresses Empathy ‘Crisis’
Rob Volpe, founder and CEO of Ignite 360, a consumer insight and strategy firm
The word, and concept of empathy might seem abstract and maybe annoying to many yet the byproducts from its insufficiency or presence are deeply, painfully experienced. People don’t feel noticed, respected and valued. They do feel hurt and angry. There is a CEO however who says there are practical measures to address it.
He first defines the problem.
“Empathy is in short supply these days — and it’s hurting us and....a lack of empathy for one another is wearing away at the gears of society, grinding us down to the nubs.”
There is a lot that can be done about that societal and business problem and the outcry from it, says Rob Volpe, founder and CEO of Ignite 360, a consumer insight and strategy firm.
“Tell Me More About That: Solving the Empathy Crisis One Conversation at a Time,” is his book, which addresses what is at the root of the dysfunction and the clear and present danger it presents for our emotions, psychology and mental health.
“The absence of empathy in our communications, decision-making and attempts at collaboration are causing unnecessary friction,” Volpe says. “We've entered a zero-sum era where there are winners and losers and nothing in between.
“Empathy,” he says, “helps everyone interact better by understanding where the other person is coming from and using that knowledge to inform how we engage and communicate.”
At least some of the cause of the trouble, Volpe says, is surprisingly, “unintended consequences of good intentions,” leading to what he says is a, “wearing away at our interpersonal skills over the decades.”
What’s happened is not a surprise.
“The result of all of this is that people are not taking the time to listen and understand and use that in their decision making,” he says. “It leaves people feeling unsupported.”
That led to high numbers of the workplace, despite the risks assumed, wanting a divorce from their employers
“The Great Resignation is fueled partly by people not feeling they were supported empathetically at work during the pandemic,” Volpe says.
It’s not just in the workplace either.
“Suicide rates among teenagers continues to climb and we are lacking the muscular strength to have empathy and provide comfort and support,” Volpe laments.
A relatively common complaint when it comes to discussing empathy is that people are burned out and the recommendations they read and hear to be more empathetic exhausts them even more. Volpe says he understands why people can feel that way.
“I actually agree that too much empathy can get in the way and if you are lucky enough to be a highly-sensitive person, aka an empath, there are opportunities to learn to use your gift and not let those powers control you,” he says, vividly explaining what he means, “It's like a superhero learning how to manage their strength or destructo-vision that blasts from their eyes if they aren't wearing special glasses.”
Yet there is a greater, more important reality, he asserts.
“That said, in a world where one-third of US adults can't easily see the point of view of others, (Ignite 360 study, January 2022), I don't think we're at the place where empaths are about to overtake the world.”
Volpe doesn’t like when people criticize empathy or consider it a chore, “That thinking is fear mongering from people that are uncomfortable with the idea of empathy and what it might mean for them to have to see someone else's point of view,” he says.
Look, he gets it, he says, “And it's true, being empathetic is exhausting. That's why it's important to learn (exactly) what empathic energy to hold onto and what to let go of. Even when it comes to cognitive empathy, it's effectively one more data point to take into consideration in all your conversations, decisions, ideations and more.
“It's one more thing and that can weigh some people down, especially if they don't have the muscular strength to be empathetic.”
There is a different way to framing this skill building, character and behavior.
“It also comes down to the choice to be courageous to have empathy or take the cowardly way out and be judgmental and cast aspersion,” Volpe claims. “The bully is never the hero of the story but the person that steps forward to see the point of view of the victim and stand up to the bully, they are cheered.”
Empathy is nice critics contend yet it’s compassion, as in actions, that matter. That’s what’s really missing and critically necessary. Volpe agrees, kind of.
“That is very quick fix or silver bullet thinking. Empathy is a stop on the road to compassion,” he rebuts. “How can you suffer together if you can't imagine what the other person is going through? And it's that empathetic connection, the understanding, that I believe stirs our conviction to take action and help alleviate the suffering of others. We need empathy in order to get to compassion.”
For those who don’t have time to talk about the insufficient empathy around us, Volpe says that’s a mistake of humanity.
“We've ignored empathy for so long and it is so misunderstood that it is going to take a lot more talking about empathy and modeling empathetic behavior and helping kids grow into adults with stronger empathy muscles than our own in order to bring about real change in the world,” he says, summarizing the reality, “If you want a more compassionate world, you have to have a more empathetic one first.”
There is room for optimism, he claims, and that is that caring for each other a little, or a lot more, can be accomplished by building our willingness, or muscle for it. Volpe says there is a small set of exercises that prove helpful.
1) Self Awareness - we can't fix a problem until we realize there is a problem. Having empathy requires us to be more self-aware of how we are showing up, engaging and responding to people. It's time to wake up our consciousness.
2) Courage - this isn't easy and it's a choice. It's like smiling versus frowning: takes more muscles and therefore, energy, to smile but the response you get back from people is worth it. Similarly, it takes courage to choose to engage with people empathetically. Make that choice and be proud of it.
3) Practice the 5 Steps - there's a lot we need to do in the moment to reach empathy. Dismantle Judgment, Ask Good Questions, Actively Listen, Integrate into Understanding, Use Solution Imagination. (In the book) I bring these steps to life through stories from my own misadventures, with empathy as an ethnographic researcher. The steps seem simple, but they aren't easy.
4) Grace - recognize that you are human. Have forgiveness and patience with yourself as you traverse this journey. Acknowledge where you are today and vow to do better tomorrow.
Research about recognition of needs and caring about them in the workplace is interesting.
“According to Businessolver's State of Workplace Empathy study, 75% of organizations are recognized as being empathetic. However, only 25% are recognized as being sufficiently empathetic.”
That significant shortcoming requires addressing from a moral and ethical perspective as employee communication in public, professional forums suggests.
“If we want 100% of all organizations to at least be empathetic on some level…and of course if we want the 25% that are sufficiently empathetic to grow to all companies, that's a 300% increase in empathy. It's going to take some Herculean empathy strength to make that happen,” he states.
That’s a big adventure to pursue, which might seem discouraging, at least initially. Reframing that task is smart.
“If I focused on that 300% I think I'd want to curl up in a corner as it seems pretty daunting,” Volpe admits before he explains how he chooses to view how the needed progress can be accomplished, “Instead, I choose to think about it this way: one conversation at a time. We didn't get to this place overnight and we aren't going to move the mountain in one fell blow.
“But what if we thought about society as our mountain that we want to move. Our societal mountain is made of millions of people and billions of interactions that happen each day.
"Think of those interactions that make up the mountain as stones and pebbles. What if, by being empathetic, we could move those pebbles. One pebble, one conversation at a time. Soon, each one of us would be doing our part to move the mountain and create the world that we hope to see. One conversation at a time.
“It's our choice,” Volpe says.
