Comprehension Determines Communication

Expressing words is one thing. Helping people understand what those words mean, in context and the importance of them is something different. Comprehension is almost always assumed and that’s too often a mistake.

A recent quote inspired this article and the interviews within it:

“I used to think communication was the key until I realized comprehension is. You can communicate all you want with someone but if they don’t understand you, it’s silent chaos.”

It seems important and at times, critical, to make a habit of assuring we are successful in doing what is necessary for comprehension to develop so we are not speaking and writing in a manner that leaves people puzzled.

Comprehension can be aided, one expert suggests, by starting with giving to others what we want for ourselves.

Barry Maher

“Getting people to listen is an art in itself,” says Barry Maher, a presenter, author and principal at Barry Maher & Associates, a company that regularly serves corporate America. “Think of how you felt the last time someone didn’t listen to you. And how you felt about that individual. Particularly if that person was your boss.”

It’s human nature to feel treated better and respected when people give us their time, patience and courtesy to sincerely pay attention to our words.

“Think of the last time someone listened to you, really listened to you,” Maher says. “Think about the two-way rapport that developed and how you felt about that person. Weren’t you far more likely to pay attention to them when they were talking?”

It’s vital to seek a clear understanding of the people to whom we are communicating or wish to communicate.

Sruthi Dhulipala

“If you’re not tuning in to what your audience wants, how are you even tailoring your message to hit the right notes?” asks Sruthi Dhulipala, a publicist, media strategist and the senior PR Manager at The Right Now.

“Step one in good communication is figuring out who your audience is. You need to understand that the audience only has limited time to pay attention, soak in your message and understand. So, being clear is vital.”

Getting people’s attention to begin with will be easier if the pre-work has been done well. “Give them a reason to listen at the very beginning of the conversation,” Maher recommends. “Start with an interest-creating remark, ideally one that highlights the benefit to them of focusing on what you’re about to say.”

He offers some examples, including one vivid one:

“Here’s something that will save you 10 minutes every time you do that job.”

“In order to get that raise we discussed, there are three things you’ll need to accomplish.”

“We’re still finding pieces of the last person who tried to do it that way. What might work better would be to . . .”

Back to listening as a behavior tool to inspire reciprocity, Maher says to use the power of questions to create engagement in a conversation.

“Ask them questions and of course, actually listen to their answers,” he says. “Here’s one of my favorite, sweeping, all-purpose, general statements: ‘When in doubt, in any business situation, anytime, with anyone, anywhere, on any planet, ask a question.’”

He echoes the common professional advisory of using a favored core strategy to inspire attention, deeper listening and understanding of your message.

“Use examples, anecdotes and stories to make your points clearer and to increase interest,” Maher says.

Additionally, it can be beneficial to be precisely detailed.

“Consider enumerating key points,” Maher says. “You’re going to have to master a six step process. First . . .”

Silence within an interaction is not a negative. It’s helpful.

“Pause occasionally,” Maher says, “or forget about being listened to after the first four or five sentences.”

He offers an idea of how we can sound, without knowing it, lacking pauses.

“Think about those directions you got the last time you were lost out in the country: ‘Can’t miss it. You just go straight ahead, cross the bridge, take a left at the old mill. Not the lumber mill, the old wheat mill. You head north for about six miles until you come to the graveyard. You don’t do anything there. But once you reach the field where the old general store used to be . . . it’s not there no more, it’s just a field . . . there you take a medium hard right…”

Pausing benefits the person communicating as much as the person listening because, “it gives the other person a chance to absorb what you’ve just said; keeps them from feeling like you’re trying to run over them and provides them with an opportunity for input,” Maher says.

This practice sends another message to the brain of the person to whom you are communicating.

“If it does nothing else, pausing gathers attention,” Maher says, describing how our mind might interpret it. “‘Something different has happened. That stream of things I haven’t been listening to seems to have stopped. What’s up?’”

“Lastly, and perhaps above all,” Maher says, “if you want to be listened to, be concise and to the point.”

He explains how this can more likely be achieved.

“That could entail thinking through what you’re going to say beforehand, maybe even working out four or five talking points,” Maher recommends. “If the message is important enough, you could even rehearse.”