Dangerous Communication Decisions in the Media About Conflicted Relationships

Frank Tortorici, Director of Media Relations at Marketing Maven

It’s not uncommon for bandmates to struggle with and endure painful conflict and maybe professional divorces and then later, be asked about it by the media. Personal details are usually then freely provided. Such is the case now with Lindsey Buckingham talking about Stevie Nicks’ part in Buckingham’s unwanted departure from Fleetwood Mac in 2018.

Buckingham didn’t hold back, offering sharp, cutting commentary:

“You could do a while analysis on Stevie at this point in her life and what she’s allowed to happen and what she’s allowed to slip away from her.

“Her creativity, at least for a while it seemed like she wasn’t in touch with that. Same with the level of energy she once had onstage. I think that was hard for her, seeing me jump around in an age-inappropriate way.

“Also, she’s lonely. She’s alone. She has the people who work for her, and I’m sure she has friends, but you know,” Buckingham said.

He also stated received word of his termination by manager Irving Azoff and not anyone in the band. Reportedly, Azoff told Buckingham, “Stevie never wants to be on a stage with you again.”

If this occurred, one might imagine how that Buckingham might feel about that statement and it being delivered by a messenger and not face to face.

Nicks has not liked being publicly criticized, shamed and she infers, misrepresented.

“It’s unfortunate that Lindsey has chosen to tell a revisionist history of what transpired in 2018 with Fleetwood Mac,” Nicks wrote in the magazine Rolling Stone.

Pretty pointed and damning.

“His version of events is factually inaccurate, and while I’ve never spoken publicly on the matter, preferring to not air dirty laundry, certainly it feels the time has come to shine a light on the truth,” she wrote.

“Stevie was on the right track moving the focus away from Buckingham’s claims that she got him fired because she wanted to hire her friends and because she was threatened by his alleged dynamism on stage,” says Frank Tortorici, Director of Media Relations at Marketing Maven, a public relations relations agency professional and former music reporter for VH1 and former contributing editor to the music website SonicNet.com.

Buckingham, as the phrase goes, poked the bear or awakened the giant.

“Following an exceedingly difficult time with Lindsey at MusiCares in New York, in 2018, I decided for myself that I was no longer willing to work with him. I could publicly reflect on the many reasons why, and perhaps I will do that someday in a memoir, but suffice it to say we could start in 1968 and work up to 2018 with a litany of very precise reasons why I will not work with him. To be exceedingly clear, I did not have him fired, I did not ask for him to be fired, I did not demand he be fired. Frankly, I fired myself. I proactively removed myself from the band and a situation I considered to be toxic to my well-being. I was done. If the band went on without me, so be it.”

Powerful statement where Nicks frames the dispute on painful emotions and viewing the experience through the lens of her firing herself.

“I have championed independence my whole life, and I believe every human being should have the absolute freedom to set their boundaries of what they can and cannot work with. And after many lengthy group discussions, Fleetwood Mac, a band whose legacy is rooted in evolution and change, found a new path forward with two hugely talented new members."

“Further to that, as for a comment on ‘family’—I was thrilled for Lindsey when he had children, but I wasn’t interested in making those same life choices. Those are my decisions that I get to make for myself. I’m proud of the life choices I’ve made, and it seems a shame for him to pass judgment on anyone who makes a choice to live their life on their own terms, even if it looks differently from what his life choices have been.”

This public airing of the grievances was not pretty yet clearly Nicks felt violated and defensive. Buckingham had crossed a line with her. And, as the young crowd likes to say in some version, he wanted that smoke, he got it.

Nicks painted a picture more vivid than Buckingham likely wanted to read about publicly.

“She definitely engendered industry support by alluding to misbehavior on his part that was making her professional life less than happy,” Tortorici says.

He isn’t sure though that everyone will be buying Nicks wording and impression management of the end of Buckingham’s participation and employment with the band. She likely won the day with many fans and especially women, yet maybe not all observers and fans.

“Some may scoff at her comment that she fired herself, not Buckingham, since the end result was that Fleetwood Mac arranged a tour without him,” Tortorici says. “Nicks should be careful saying she did not get him fired from the band and that she only said she wouldn't work with him--because in effect, the result was the same. He was booted.”

Nicks took the bait, so to speak, and did engage in the conflict, did her best to communicate in a poised manner, assertively and speak to what she disagreed with, and what she found false about the narrative being circulated.

“I feel that she should have gone further in describing his misdeeds and how they affected her, so the public would have a clearer picture of why the two of them working together is so untenable,” Tortorici says, adding “She also likely garnered more support by saying that Buckingham’s criticism of her personal life choices was out of line.”

Tortorici says Buckingham’s pain or venting were not helpful in any larger picture.

“If Buckingham really wants to get back into Fleetwood Mac, he should have focused his comments on his acknowledgement of past offensive behavior and offered at least a basic apology that he may have disrespected Nicks and hurt her feelings,” he advised. “There are many accounts out there from different sources attesting to his tendency toward abusive behavior, especially to Nicks and other girlfriends.”

In short, Buckingham lacked self-awareness, empathy and responsibility. He acted the part of the brute in denial, choosing egocentric shifting of the blame.

“He didn’t do himself any favors by continuing to criticize her – and bandmembers who he says are ‘on his side,’” Tortorici says.

His professional advice to Buckingham is short and sweet.

“I would tell Lindsey that you can’t have your cake and eat it too.”

Nicks voice might be heard signing.

It's hard to think about what you've wanted
It's hard to think about what you've lost
This doesn't have to be the big "get even"
This doesn't have to be anything at all