Favorite Communication Traits
Certain communication traits are going to be be experienced as more positively memorable and subsequently judged as respected and liked.
Communication Intelligence asked people which personal experiences they enjoyed or which ones they witnessed that find desirable.
Then, C.I. followed up with this question: Why specifically did this stand out as special and create a winning impression on you?
You may find some of the responses surprising to a small or large degree.
“There is that saying that the person who asks the most questions is truly the most interesting person in the room,” says Bridget Aileen Sicsko, brand strategist, podcast host and co-founder of Visibility on Purpose, adding, “The ability to ask questions directly relates to my favorite communication trait which is: listening.”
Most people like speak and express their expertise yet Sicsko asserts those who are outstanding listeners learn more and can impress just as much, if not more.
“To me this stands out because when most people are trying to have a say or make a point, a listener is a master observer,” she says. “They are taking in different perspectives, experiences and stories to understand the group, the room or the situation even better. And then from that place, they are able to create their own perspective. There is something extremely powerful about being able to sit back, listen and then formulate an opinion. In today's day and age, I think it should be highly revered.”
Michael Podolsky agrees.
“I believe listening is fundamental to good communication,” says the CEO and co-founder at PissedConsumer.com, a review and reputation management platform. “Active listening is a communication trait that helps to truly hear and understand what others say while gaining insights into their needs and avoiding miscommunication.”
That is essential, he adds, because “when a company knows how to listen to its customers, they are more likely to meet customer needs, resolve issues and achieve customer satisfaction.”
The opposite is problematic because “when customer service agents lack listening skills,” Podolsky warns, “it becomes difficult for a business to build communication and loyalty with customers.”
Storytelling is an often praised and advised skill to develop and practice, for good reason, yet Podolsky says skilled listening must come first.
“I appreciate communicating with people who know how to listen and always strive to be a good listener. A good listener learns from the speaker, follows ideas and gains a clear understanding of what is said,” he states, explaining next why this trait and habit is hard earned and stands out.
“It usually takes attentiveness and patience not to interrupt, to hold the pause and engage with the speaker,” Podolsky says.
“Most great leaders and speakers I’ve met share this communication trait. Not do they know how to engage listeners with an outstanding speech but they also make a positive impression with their ability to listen to questions, opinions and responses to their ideas.”
Appreciation in unexpected moments can stand out.
“I have a friend and client who does something simple and powerful,” says B. Andrew Plant, a public relations strategist at Plant Communications. “He thanks me when I send an invoice, for me or for a vendor. It's good basic business to acknowledge such and in doing so with thanks, (he) sets such a great tone of appreciating a valued business partner.”
This goes deeper for Plant.
“His thankful acknowledgements are really part of a larger pattern about which he is consistent: Acknowledging receipt of a communication,” he says.
“In an era when a particular generation or type of techie always seems to be telling us that it’s not cool to communicate this way or that (way) or to always have a ringer off or only acknowledge X but not Y, he simply and clearly breaks through the clutter,” Plant states. “Along with being businesslike and gentlemanly, you better believe it puts him at the top of the list in terms of who I respond to first.”
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Guna Kakulapati’s answer might catch some people off guard but not so much for what he first says but the reason behind it.
“Although it's an old classic, I love playing devil's advocate to help flesh out both practical sides of an argument,” says the co-founder and CEO at CureSkin, an app for solutions for various skin and hair conditions through the use of AI-based skin assessment. “When those who support you the most play the role of your competition or critic, they help fortify and prepare you for genuine experiences and adversity.”
This is not only valuable, it’s necessary, Kakulapati has come to learn.
“In business circles, especially in specific sectors like mine, you’ll often come across people pleasers who don’t want to rock the boat instead of being instigators,” he says. “Perhaps, some are too self-conscious, protective or timid but the instigators stand out and make fair points to help strengthen your argument or positioning.”
This Ray Dalio-like radical candor is a difference maker and risk management.
“In business, we don't hide from harsh realities,” Kakulapati says. “We should welcome criticism from friends and colleagues or we won't be well-prepared to face it in the market.”
For one leader, he most noticed and remembers how a mentor chose to interact with him.
“In our early days,” says Bryan Clayton, co-founder and CEO at GreenPal, online freelancing platform that connects landscapers to clients in the United States. “I had a mentor who truly exemplified this one trait: He wouldn’t just hear my words but would fully engage in the conversation, often paraphrasing what I said to ensure he understood it correctly.”
This practice connected deeply with Clayton, he says because “It was unique to encounter someone so present and engaged in our conversations. It made me feel valued, understood and respected, which had a profound impact on my communication style. I strive to emulate this level of active listening in my interactions today, as I believe it fosters stronger, more effective relationships.”
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Michael Green, MD, an OB/GYN and co-founder at Winona, a female-founded anti-aging wellness center, says honesty in the form of transparency, no matter how awkward, stands out to him.
“One of the most straightforward but shocking moments with a colleague that caught me off guard was their answer to my asking how they were. They said, ‘Terrible. I’m tired and grumpy,’ and I was too flabbergasted to respond,” says Green. “It’s so easy to fall into the groove of communicating with colleagues and employees or even friends but this conversation felt fresh and authentic.”
He elaborates on what made this experience one he came to respect.
“Something about injecting authentic feelings and experiences into small talk has such richness and depth that most automatic conversations inherently lack,” Green says. “Having my expectations flipped about how a conversation should go made an impression on me that was more engaging and connective than the usual ‘I’m fine. You?’ I remember this moment sometimes when colleagues ask how I’m doing and I always think twice now about how to respond.”
For Kevin Miller, a digital marketing expert, entrepreneur and angel investor, he is drawn to the ability to change viewpoints in interactions.
“One priceless psychological tool for communicating well is reframing,” he insists. “Reframing is consciously shifting a perspective to find new insights, change the narrative or reduce bias.”
He provides how this can work in practice in a certain situation.
“One easy example of reframing for chronic people pleasers, for instance, is to stop over-apologizing and start thanking others for their time and patience,” Miller says.
“Reframing is so powerful because it flips many of our enculturated or internal expectations on their head,” he adds. “Seeing things from novel angles is invaluable in the business world. When we take the time to witness our habits and subconscious behavior, like talking in a self-deprecating way, we can consciously frame ourselves in a more compassionate light, influencing both our feelings and how we are perceived as professionals.”
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Not all communication is created equal in its planning, delivery and effectiveness and Ziza Natur says that won’t do when so much is at stake.
“Crystal clear information structure,” is the favorite communication trait for the public speaking and voice coach and visibility and personal brand strategist at The Voice of Power. “I strive to improve this in my communication and get extremely engaged when I notice it in other people.”
She explains why it is a critical piece to success.
“Technology allows us to share information and have it recorded, whether it’s a webinar, podcast, training, etc. and people can review and listen to it as many times as they like,” Natur begins. “The problem is that, unless the information is structured in a clear and logical way, that doesn’t ask your audience to mentally connect the dots, they will not listen to it again.
“Whenever we share a piece of information, especially with verbal communication, the aim is for the listener to be able to summarize what we've said in 2-3 main ideas after listening to us just once.
“It’s our responsibility as speakers, trainers, facilitators and influencers to connect the dots for our audience and give them the structure needed for fast implementation,” she says.
The cost is high if this focus ends up being a “miss.”
“Otherwise, valuable information goes to waste and the entire discourse becomes this big motivational speech with nuggets of wisdom that you can’t use in real life. We live in an era where people have shorter attention spans, and they're even shorter on time,” Natur says.
She’s seen the consequences up close and personal.
“I’ve witnessed plenty of valuable and useful information wasted because of how it was delivered,” Natur says point blank. “It felt heavy, exhausting and I had to review it 2-3 times and connect the dots before even creating a roadmap towards implementation.”
Far better, she declares to know how to present the communication in a way to make it a turn-key model for implementation.
“Whenever someone structures and delivers the content in a way that makes my brain think ‘Okay, let's get to work, I know how to do this!’, they have my undivided attention and I become a fan for life. I'm not some special cookie, everyone’s brains work the same. The clearer the information, the more useful and impactful it is to your audience and the longer you keep them in your space, creating a powerful bond with them.”
Taking responsibility will almost always be respected.
“My best friend of over forty years had one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever heard,” says Richard A. Smith, a workforce expert, coach, consultant and managing partner of Benton + Bradford Consulting. “If you own up to your flaws and mistakes, no one can use them against you. If you are transparent, you have nothing to fear.”
This is a golden practice to Smith because, as he says, “This advice encapsulates all the communication principles I find most valuable and coach my clients on: Humility, trust, candor and grace.”
Those principles are vital to success, he elaborates, because they “form the foundation for leaders to encourage dialogue and practice effective listening.”
Synergy in communication really stands out for one professional.
“When it comes to communicating with clients and team members, our favorite trait is a willingness to collaborate,” says Maya Molony, a social media coordinator at Dawning Digital, a marketing agency. “This includes the ability to not only listen but also respond with understanding and insight.”
Connectedness, she has experienced, is an energy source, not a drain.
“We don’t like working in silos, but rather as an interwoven team — exchanging regular back and forth and being open to feedback,” Molony says. “We’ve found that the best work we’ve done has often been a result of effective collaboration between team members and our clients and these successful projects couldn’t have happened without everyone involved approaching all communication with a collaborative mindset.”
This collaborative exchange in pursuit of progress and goal achievement stands out, she explains, because, “as digital marketing professionals, our industry is filled with loud voices. Every brand, CEO, or digital marketer is trying to make their mark in the online landscape. From our perspective, when people are willing to listen, accept feedback and work symbiotically rather than in isolation, that stands out to us as a unique and positive trait that will ultimately lead to the best work possible.”
