Is it Acceptable to Criticize Your Boss to Their Face?
A boss may not always conduct themselves professionally or sensitively. In times that they don’t, maybe the impulse is to react in a dangerous way, yet most people refrain as a matter of personal risk management.
Still the question remains: “Is it acceptable to criticize your boss to their face?”
That query was posed in an online message board. Here is the backstory: an employee was told by their boss that were significantly less productive than they were previously. The employee was hurt and offended because they were given more work with no additional support or compensation.
They communicated their disgust, per the post, saying how they that they are at work to make money and they were not being empowered or paid for a lot more effort and responsibilities.
Then the employee, angrily reacted, saying, “Thank you” in a “curt” and passive aggressive manner.
A poll that asked how acceptable that reaction was in the moment. Over 1,100 votes at the time.
The results: 68 percent of people answered, “Totally acceptable.”
Communication Intelligence wanted to see what a few professionals thought and were willing to say. Yes, a small sample size, yet a worthy discussion.
“While you should never respond sharply to your boss, you have a right to stick up for yourself,” says Christy Pyrz, chief marketing officer of Paradigm Peptides. “There's a polite way to discuss your defense without an attitude and that should be said for your boss too.”
There is also the risk of how someone will be viewed if harsh tone is received poorly.
“Being curt in the workplace can backfire and risks damaging relationships with colleagues,” says Bianca Riemer, finance director and board member at the International Coaching Federation UK.
Addressing such interactions are important, not just for the receiver of the criticism, but also for the giver of it, the boss.
Bill Catlette, partner with Contented Cow Partners, a leadership and workforce advisory firm.
“It's nearly always possible to express disappointment, displeasure, disagreement, even anger with your boss, as long as it's done respectfully and professionally,” says Bill Catlette, partner with Contented Cow Partners, a leadership and workforce advisory firm.
“Some may not want to hear it,” he says, “but to the extent that you plan to continue working with that person, you owe it to them and yourself to make an effort to clear the air. Just be sensible about when, where and how you do it.”
Pyrz concurs that it is smart to consider being assertive in such situations. She suggests using a collaborative approach to address the dispute.
“Thank your boss for sharing their feelings and remind them that your workload has recently expanded and you're doing your best to tackle all tasks and meet deadlines,” she says. “If productivity is an issue, is there any work that can be lifted from your plate? This is a more appropriate solution when communicating and sets expectations.”
Riemer concurs with Catlette’s point about “where” to conduct such a response to the hurtful criticism.
Bianca Riemer is the finance director and board member at the
International Coaching Federation UK.
“A better way to move forward on this would be to ask the boss for a private meeting,” she says. “It's important to approach the situation with an open mind and invite the other person to share their view without either of you feeling that the other person has bad intentions.”
A possibly helpful approach before getting together involves well-thought-out preparation. “In the meeting, lay out the evidence that you have been getting more complex tasks that take more time to do,” Riemer says, adding, “Then state your interpretation of the situation, i.e. that you feel unfairly treated. Ask your boss how they see it. Listen and respond.”
It’s advisable going into that conversation to clarify what precisely you’d like to achieve and what you could comfortably tolerate.
“During the conversation, remember what it is you really want from the conversation,” Riemer says. “Is it a good working relationship with your boss? Is it to be fairly treated? Is it a pay rise?”
Timing is important for the meeting. The objective is not to be a position where you will rushed. It should, if possible, happen promptly.
“Be smart about picking the time and place for this little chat,” Catlette says. “Usually it helps to ask for a meeting in advance, not too long after the precipitating event and you certainly want to meet in private.”
He offers a recommendation on how to get started.
“I like to start by asking the question, ‘Could you stand some feedback?’ It's a polite, yet business-like way of setting the stage. Then, in a controlled manner, explain what you think you heard them say and why it's offensive or off-putting to you.
“If you feel that their opinion is biased by some bad data or perspective, be prepared to clear that up factually. If perhaps you misheard them, say so and thank them for their time,” Catlette says.
He agrees with Riemer about knowing up front what you hope to achieve in the conversation or mini-negotiation.
“Before entering such a discussion, know what your ‘ask’ is. What, if anything, do you want them to do? If you'd like their opinion to be informed by additional data, bring it. If you want to discuss modifying performance expectations or a review, propose it,” Catlette says.
Being understanding of the boss is important and Catlette say it’s smart to give a boss time, if they want it, to think over what was communicated before responding, either in or after the meeting.
“Remain poised and professional, no matter what,” he says. “Whether they wind up accepting your POV (point of view) or not, thank them for the opportunity to discuss the matter.”
If the boss still doesn’t understand reasonable expectations of judgment and communication?
“If your request is unsuccessful, the matter is important to you and you want to pursue it further, ask them what the path of further appeal is, if any,” Catlette says. “Regardless, do not, repeat, do not turn this into a public spectacle, as you will only lose.”
