Our Most Common, Problematic Communication Troubles

Daniele Saccardi is the campaigns manager at Preply

To solve problems it’s helpful to accurately identify them in the first place. When it comes to communication, one study has found which troubles are most prevalent.

Preply, a language learning app and e-learning platform with employees in 30 countries, conducted research involving 2,200 Americans to determine the worst communication habits because, it says, “Many of our problems — at work and in relationships — stem back to communication issues.”

The biggest problem: “Americans have a problem with interrupting and talking over each other. This is shown in what respondents ranked as the most frequent communication problems they experience, which are being interrupted (24%), being talked over (19%).…”

The explanation behind this behavior is not limited to one reason. It could be dependent on circumstance, intent, habit and manners.

“There are many reasons people may talk over others, some are intentional and others are not,” says Daniele Saccardi, campaigns manager at Preply. “PsychMechanics lists the types of interrupting as power, rapport and neutral.

“Power is when an interruption happens to gain (the) power in the conversation. Rapport usually aims to add to a conversation, not subtract. Neutral ones are common when someone is excited or emotional and aren’t intended to gain power or build a connection.”

Regardless of the reason, the impact is usually consistent.

“When someone speaking is cut off before finishing their sentence it can leave them feeling embittered and frustrated,” Saccardi says.

“Being interrupted can signal to a speaker that the interrupter finds their information or comment of more importance. It could also communicate that the interrupter is trying to control the conversation.”

Communication pet peeves, as Preply labeled them, can include a lack of empathy, passive aggressiveness and assuming what people mean instead of asking.

“Lacking empathy can be something people realize or not,” Saccardi says. “When people have many things going on in their own life, that can lead to not having the emotional ability or time to be empathetic towards others.”

Resolving that communication error isn’t outside of paying it attention and pursuing and achieving resolution.

“If someone were to realize they lacked empathy towards a friend or coworker they could revisit the conversation and ask questions, and share feelings to show that empathy.”

Addressing covert aggression might prove more challenging.

“To limit passive-aggressive communication, a person needs to be self-aware so as to be able to recognize how they treat and speak to others,” Saccardi asserts. “Being open to others’ words and using your own will also help people communicate more fully, thus lacking passive-aggressive tendencies.”

Assumptive thinking can lead to inaccurate conclusions and more frequent and intense conflict. That’s certainly problematic. Saccardi responds to that issue.

“We can learn that over-communicating can be better than not communicating at all because we truly don’t know others’ intentions unless we ask,” he says. “We can also learn that people we encounter don’t know what we mean at all times so we can also be clearer and more direct.”

The study shows, maybe to some surprise, that, “80 percent of all Americans indicated that they are conflict avoidant.”

The remedy however is not always so easy.

“Becoming more assertive can be very hard for some people,” Saccardi explains. “Practicing conversations beforehand can be a great way to make sure you say what you mean and get what you want out of a conversation.

“Journaling can also be a good reflective tool to learn from conversations while moving forward in learning, (so as) to not suffer in avoidance.”

The most common workplace miscommunication problems, the study revealed, were, “… a lack of feedback (69%), poorly written communication (64%) and too much feedback — or micromanaging (60%).”

The translation is clear.

“The study showed that many people feel they are poorly communicated to in the workplace,” Saccardi states.

“The fact that all three (issues) have to do with types of communication shows that while some are getting feedback or being communicated to, it appears it’s in forms that are not appreciated, like in excess or a way that makes people feel micromanaged.

“Effective communication is needed, not just more of the less popular types.”

The research also queried survey participants about relationship troubles as related to communication and the findings were that, “… defensiveness (90%), criticism (85%), lack of compromise (80%), stonewalling (74%) and belittling (63%) are common in the majority of American relationships.” 

And in work and in life in general, “… 43% of Americans have experienced a miscommunication over cultural differences and 40% of Americans have experienced a miscommunication over cultural differences at work.”

The biggest takeaway from the study for Saccardi?

“The biggest takeaway from this study was the generational shifts of communicating,” he says. “While the different ways people feel they are miscommunicated to is interesting, it shows how each generation sees communication getting worse.

“This stems from the stat found that: each generation feels less effective at communicating than the previous one, where in a ranking from 1-5, Baby Boomers ranked their communication (quality level) as 3.88, Gen X as 3.82, Millennials as 3.57 and Gen Z as 3.55.”

Study Note: Respondents in the study were 43% men, 53% women and 4% nonbinary or preferred not to say.

The generational breakdown: 11% Baby Boomer, 22% Gen X, 47% Millennial and 20% Gen Z.