Think First and Primarily About ‘Stay’ Interviews Over ‘Exit’ Interviews

Eric Partaker

Some companies have the policy to talk to their people before they leave the organization. That’s helpful and wise of course. Yet it’s a tardy response.

“Exit interviews are too late,” says Adam Grant, an author and professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania specializing in organizational psychology.

It’s an incomplete, reactive, costly approach, according to an entrepreneur and CEO coach.

“To keep your best people,” Eric Partaker says, “you need to introduce ‘stay’ interviews.”

He went on to bring up six points, three of which will be shared here now, to inquire about within these “stay” interviews:

1) What challenges or frustrations could I help you with? 2) If you could change our company goals, what would you start doing? 3) What's one thing I could do to be a better leader? And what's the next thing?

Partaker knows that if leaders wait until employees commit to departing it’s opportunity and value lost. Being on time with conversations is a smarter strategy for improved retention and organizational culture study.

Tonicia Freeman-Foster

“‘Stay’ interviews can be a powerful tool,” says Tonicia Freeman-Foster, Ed.D., a leadership and organizational culture expert and the co-founder of LEIDOSWEL (Kusudi Consulting Group), “for understanding the conditions employees navigate within the company and personally. They can also assess the variables that support — and variables that create barriers — to employees' thriving, job satisfaction and wellness.”

Luke Lintz

This type of dialogue can get to the heart of what is on employees’ minds that is important, maybe passionately and critically so, to them.

“They involve open and candid conversations with employees to understand their needs, concerns and aspirations,” says Luke Lintz, founder and CEO of HighKey Enterprises, a digital branding company. “By conducting ‘stay’ interviews, companies can proactively address issues, boost employee morale and create a positive work environment. It’s an approach that can help identify and resolve potential problems before they lead to turnover.”

Partaker question: “What challenges or frustrations could I help you with?”

Freeman-Foster likes it.

“This is a powerful question. Often, company leaders take pride in the positive aspects of the company and shy away from or condemn things they deem as negative. This question acknowledges that there are always areas for improvement,” she says. “When asked sincerely, it signals the company’s willingness to learn, take action, grow and evolve.”

To take this question a step further, Freeman-Foster says, the organization can supplement it with skilled listening and action value.

“Additionally, the company should have the resources — or access to the resources — to support easing the employees’ challenges and frustrations,” she advises.

Lintz too is a proponent of the question.

“It is an excellent way to open an ‘stay’ interview. It demonstrates your genuine interest in the employee’s well-being and their professional experience within the company,” he says. “This question invites employees to share their concerns, allowing you to address any issues, provide support and work together to improve their work experience.”

It’s an opportunity to build psychological safety.

“It sets a positive tone for the conversation,” Lintz says, “and aligns with the goal of retaining valuable talent within the organization.”

Partaker question: “If you could change our company goals, what would you start doing?”

The query is cloudy and needs to be defined, in Freeman-Foster’s opinion.

“This question could be a little bit more clear. Is it referring to the overall company or goals related to departments, programs, employees or a combination thereof,” she asks. “Each of these could be their own question, so this question could be considered a loaded question.”

That creates the problems of confusion and stress for employees.

It makes it “harder for survey participants to respond effectively,” Freeman-Foster says. “In its current state, this question would be better positioned for an in-person interview, focus group or other qualitative-styled survey. A successful follow-up would encourage employees to lead or provide significant input into the changes.”

Lintz sees the question more clearly in its current state and recognizes the value of it.

“It encourages employees to share their thoughts on the company’s objectives, fostering a sense of ownership and involvement. This can lead to valuable insights, innovative ideas and a stronger connection between employees and the organization,” he says. “Overall, it’s a great question to promote employee engagement in shaping the company’s future and improving job satisfaction.”

Partaker question: “What's one thing I could do to be a better leader? And what's the next thing?”

“This question is excellent but requires leadership maturity and cultural humility,” Freeman-Foster asserts. “The question requires a substantial amount of leader prework. It requires the leader to have continuously immersed themselves in deep self-reflection, an awareness and acknowledgment of their power and commitment to actively sharing power with their employees. It also requires demonstrated trustworthiness.”

This prompts questions in her own mind in analysis and anticipation of dialogue.

“How does the leader typically respond to uncomfortable truths about the company? About themselves? How has this been modeled for the employees? No one wants to be isolated, ‘othered,’ terminated or the recipient of other forms of retaliation for speaking their truths to their leader,” Freeman-Foster points out.

This particular Partaker question is so sensitive and fraught with risk that it may need a different format to communicate.

“In my experience, people often only truthfully answer this type of question in an anonymous survey,” Freeman-Foster says, adding, “And even then, it depends on the number of employees in the company and the potential self-identifying questions listed on the survey.

Lintz sees it through a different lens.

“This is an insightful and constructive inquiry to include in a ‘stay’ interview. It demonstrates your commitment to self-improvement and invites honest feedback from employees,” he says. “Additionally, by asking for the ‘next thing,’ you show willingness to take actionable steps to enhance your leadership skills.”

Lintz also likes something else about this invitation for assertive, authentic conversation. “This question not only encourages open communication but also reinforces a culture of continuous improvement within the organization,” he says. “It’s a valuable way to engage with employees and strengthen leadership effectiveness.”

The conversation starters and the replies and back and forth can prove beneficial, yet alone they are insufficient. The questions and answers have to be combined with intelligent, relationship-focused follow-up.

“The employer must commit to taking action on the employees’ responses,” Freeman-Foster advises and warns. “This will serve as an incentive for employees to participate authentically and share their truths.”

Introspection, leadership discussion and honesty taking place before the interviews occur is important as well, she says.

“The company’s leadership should assess their reason for conducting stay interviews, their commitment to taking swift action and their capacity to manage the information obtained in an emotionally productive manner.”