Executives Learning to Promptly Ask for Help

People need to speak up, even executives, when they are unsure, confused, stressed or otherwise in need of assistance.

“No one can help you if you’re silent,” writes Matt Schnuck, the CEO at Rickhouse and the writer of The Inflection — a space on LinkedIn which covers EQ, entrepreneurship and growth secrets of unicorns.

In his post, he drives home the important point that leaders, as Schnuck says, counterintuitively “build trust by sharing (communicating) their problems.”

That of course doesn’t mean dumping them on others. It does mean communicating them in a humble, curious manner that genuinely asks for insightful, quality feedback, insights and maybe, recommendations.

Schnuck tells a story where as a CEO he hired a COO who was not doing well. It hurt the employees and culture and the team couldn’t determine the value that the COO generated.

“I didn’t say anything to my board,” he adds. “I thought I could turn it around and wanted to explore more potential solutions before sharing the issues with my advisers. I experimented and deliberated in my head. I wanted to have more data. I thought I just needed more time. Nearly a year went by. I finally decided to part ways. I estimate the cost of this mistake alone to be at least $10+ million, given where the company was positioned at the time. All because I didn’t feel confident enough to share the bad news.”

That’s worth restating: “All because I didn’t feel confident enough,” and “to share the bad news.”

Losing $10+ million is an expensive organizational and professional lesson, as is what else Schnuck also painfully communicates.

“I’m certain my advisors would have helped me identify the need to act immediately had I been willing to share with them,” he says. “Being silent about the real issues in the company blocked my most trusted advisors from helping me in the moment.”

The final conclusion he shares is one to remember too. “Now that I sit on boards today, I see that nothing builds more trust than a CEO who shares bad news early and often,” Schnuck says.

Executives: Ask for Help. Reject Fear. Refrain From Hiding Bad News.

Sources for this discussion: Johnny Sirpilla, the former president of both Camping World and Good Sam, the founder of Encourage, LLC. and the author of “Life is Hard but I’ll be Okay,” and Jennifer Eisenreich, founder and CEO of Shift Show Communication, LLC.

Not saying anything and deciding that you will do it all to turn a problem “around” is dangerous business and arguably selfish thinking, especially when deciding to pass on communicating with advisors who you consider trustworthy. Schnuck knows this now and adds a Barack Obama quote to back up his new belief.

Barack Obama comments on asking for help. Image by Jewel Samad—AFP/Getty Images

“Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don’t know something and to learn something new,” former President Obama says.

“Employees need to find respect in their leadership and that respect is developed through good and bad times,” says Sirpilla. “In fact, when leaders are tested in difficult times, they may garner even greater respect than they receive when delivering good news. Showing that you genuinely care about the team and the impact of tough decisions is critical.”

“We all make mistakes. In time, we make big mistakes. The tipping factor is how we handle them,” Eisenreich says. “When facing a personal mistake at work or in life, time is of the essence. Waiting to reveal something, or for someone to find it, not only amplifies the mistake, it creates a sense of imbalance in causing us to continually mess up out of anxiety, adding insult to the original injury.”

She understands why leaders can be reticent to admit the troubles approaching or escalating and bypass seeking assistance.

“Top-level leaders have more to lose professionally, so the pressure to maintain a pristine image is a more central focus,” she says, adding that, “Hubris causes too many leaders to lie, thinking denial will cover large and small mistakes from ineptitude to injustice. Our prideful selves believe we can explain or misguide others away from issues, but the revelation of the truth usually occurs, and the coverup is always worse than the ‘crime (figure of speech).’”

John Sirpilla

Schnuck was honest about the potential, or likely high costs, financially and otherwise, associated with his errors. He learned. There’s takeaways.

“Once you’ve arrived at your executive role, it can be natural to question if you’re truly qualified and prepared to lead. I’ve seen it play out in so many industries and I’ve often thought that when I see a leader fall down when they were most needed to lead, what drove their actions?” Sirpilla says.

“I’ve thought that it was a lack of compassion or awareness of what was expected of them. I’d form a judgement that may not have put me in the proper position to offer guidance. After investigation the root of their thoughts, I’d discover that they truly didn’t feel qualified to make such a monumental decision. Quite simply, they froze and wouldn’t reach out to their support team to process the enormity of the situation.”

Jennifer Eisenreich

Think courage, responsibility and cost.

“We should always remember the mantra, ‘short-term pain, long-term gain,’” Eisenreich recommends. “Admitting a mistake takes bravery and vulnerability. It’s frightening and we imagine absolute worst-case scenarios. More often than not, those tar-and-feather nightmares vanish when we humbly admit a mistake before it is uncovered.”

The surprise is this approach can be welcomed.

“Leaders feel power when they can advise and eventually forgive someone who comes to them, hat in hand, showing their commitment and taking responsibility for a problem,” Eisenreich declares. “Furthermore, when the boss is included and asked to brainstorm a solution or path that might make the issue right, the person asking forgiveness has a clear path forward.”

Not utilizing intelligent, thoughtful input is unwise.

“A leader should not make decisions in a vacuum without the input from trusted advisors in fear of embarrassment for not having a solid action plan on their own,” Sirpilla says. “I find the best way to remind myself of the need to reach out is to fully appreciate and respect the strength around me.

“I’ve been blessed to work with exceptional colleagues that had genuinely complimented my strengths and without their perspective and viewpoint, I would have made far more mistakes.”

Maybe executives would feel compelled to come forward and ask for assistance from trusted colleagues when bad news emerges if the cultures in which they work were healthy and supportive for problem solving. This has to be shown repeatedly, top down and respected.

“I’ve often said that there is no difficult conversation if we approach it with respect, honesty, sincerity and a genuine desire to reach to do what is right,” Sirpilla says. “When a leader interacts and exhibits this behavior the culture will follow.”

Late First Lady of the United States, Eleanor Roosevelt

Something he once read made a lasting impression on him as a person and executive.

“I love this quote from Eleanor Roosevelt and it has always stuck with me, ‘To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart,’” Sirpilla says. “Putting your heart out there as a leader demonstrates that you are approachable with any news that is of importance to the organization or your relationship with the leader. When revealing your heart to your team, they will truly know you and have an understanding of how you may receive difficult news.”

He’s no stranger to observing the suboptimal habit of finger pointing.

“This is something I’ve seen far too often. When challenges arise, especially in large companies, there seems to be a need to find someone to blame,” Sirpilla states. “Often times it can be an entire team but most often finding one person, in particular, that all fault can be assigned to is a common technique used to mask the failure of leadership.”

This has not made sense to him.

“I’ve been fascinated by the need for leaders to deflect and find a fall guy as opposed to a full assessment of the situation, with full recognition for individual failures but viewing them in the context of how the situation was set up for success,” Sirpilla recalls. “It’s common to see a weak roll out plan for an initiative that is set up for failure, so finding an individual to blame when the cards were stacked against success crushes culture and leads to employee fear of full engagement.”

Changing how mistakes are interpreted and responded to can be helpful.

“We must normalize mistakes, reward vulnerability and prioritize problem-solving,” Eisenreich contends. “Power players (can) create a hostile work environment and cause their staff undue anxiety and stress. The successful, modern workplace embraces what used to be known as ‘soft skills,’ which are now deemed ‘power skills.’”

She lists what she defines as those behavior traits.

“Connection, empathy, kindness, trust, patience and humbleness create an environment where people are happy to work, create, take calculated risks and remain loyal,” Eisenreich has discovered.

Obama’s comments about not being afraid to ask for help, that he does it every day, seem like sound counsel. Executives can model it for their fellow executives and the people they lead.

“Modeling the behavior of asking for help as a leader involves creating a culture of openness, vulnerability and continuous learning within the organization,” Sirpilla says. “Creating a culture with the mindset of asking for help takes repetition, reinforcement and a true commitment to modeling the behavior.”

“I propose the following action steps to create a vulnerable environment where seeking input and assistance is valued,” Sirpilla says:

$Lead by Example$: Leaders should be open with their limitations, be honest and admit when they don’t have all of the answers and show a willingness to seek assistance from the team.

Share personal experiences when asking for help for positive outcomes and personal growth.

$Normalize Asking for Help$: Make very clear that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Reinforce that seeking help is a natural part of learning and problem-solving.

When talking about successes, give credit where it is due when advice and input was sought from the team. This will prove that the leader values the input from others and gives them credit as appropriate.

$Create and Reinforce a Supportive Environment$: When decisions are made, ask who contributed and collaborated to come to the decision. As it becomes routine to ask that question, the team will realize that you value teamwork. Celebrate teamwork and give credit to teams for pulling their strengths together, creating a winning outcome.

$Provide Resources and Tools$: Affirming to employees that resources needed for strong decisions can live outside of the organization. Those resources can be found in training programs, professional organizations or consultants.

Showing as the leader your personal commitment to being a life-long learner is a great first step to ensuring your organization follows your lead.