Importance of Trust and Perception of Competency Before Providing Feedback

Bill Catlette, partner at Contented Cow Partners and an executive coach and advisor

NEW SERIES: Third of Six Interviews

“The trick to viewing feedback as a gift is to be more worried
about having blind spots than hearing about them.”

James Clear
Author of Atomic Habits
Writer and speaker

Bill Catlette
Partner at Contented Cow Partners
Executive coach and advisor to management

I sense that Mr. Clear's approach provides an effective mind game, a little anesthesia, if you will, in preparation for what could be some unflattering news. As such, it is beneficial, but not sufficient.

In order to appreciate and benefit from the medicine, 'er feedback, the receiver also needs to have sufficient trust that the messenger:

A) Has their best interests at heart, and
B) Knows what they are doing.

It's not unlike a doctor or nurse who tells their patient: “This is going to sting a bit.” The patient's cooperation hinges largely on their level of trust in the professional, that they believe fully in the benefit of the treatment, and that they are not misspeaking about the level of discomfort.

Communication Intelligence: How do we get to this level of thinking to be focused on the right thing and develop humility superior to our ego?

BC: Most high-performing professionals today are data-driven and thus realize that they are seldom, if ever, batting 1,000. Hence, there is room for improvement, even in them.

The wise coach might:

A) Ask permission. “I think I'm seeing something that may be keeping you from being as effective as you want/need to be. Are you interested in hearing about it?”

What are they going to say, “No?”

B) With that individual's preferred learning style in mind, present the feedback data — textually, visually, anecdotally, or via concrete experience — in the manner best suited to the receiver, followed by the ask: “Is this something that you'd like to work on?”